Avalon

Calvin tells beautiful, complex stories with his music. In "Avalon," he interjects himself, the songwriter, into an imagined summer romance which takes place on the Jersey Shore presumably 15 years earlier, when he himself was only a child. The songwriter and the philandering lover of the story share the same name and they may also share a lack of emotional awareness that comes with the responsibility of young love. Now, with the discovery of these lost love letters, there's a chance for redemption. On behalf of all the callous scoundrels who have loved and left innocent darlings by the sea, the songwriter invokes a guilty-as-charged, self-shaming, plea for forgiveness. But there is a subtle twist for the careful listener when he reveals his insincerity. In the final verse, he can't seem to remember where he first encountered the letters from the lovelorn victim who inspires the story in the first place:

Cause either he hadn't uncovered the letters from Heather, or had and he left her heart there scribbled out on a mini golf scorecard, a carnival ticket, and the back of a crumpled receipt from a bar in Cape May, but it wasn't Cape May, I'm drawing a blank all these towns look the same. I should have remembered, where I found her confession, I feel so ashamed.

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The painting is simple with muted, beach tones and a repeating iconic boardwalk ferris wheel that symbolizes the circular nature of both the song and the behavior of its characters. I think my favorite part of the painting is the bright white in the right center... a representation of a fading memory, or perhaps an attempt to wash away the sins of the past.

The lyrics for "Avalon" are below, and you can listen along to a rough recording here

Avalon

By Calvin Rezen

I wrestle a treasure chest open at a pirate-themed miniature golf course near one of the shore towns in Jersey, Point Pleasant or Avalon

And I came to uncover some letters from Heather, addressed to a person named Calvin,

who'd met her there years ago, Point Pleasant or Avalon

And the fact that her lover and I shared a name made me feel she was writing to me and she blamed me for changing her life back in 2005 when I held her close under the carnival lights

for a night and I left without saying the slightest goodbye.

She'll never forgive me. And truly how could she?

I'll never be worthy, or part of her story.

My guilt for intruding, for reading her letters, is always outdone by the guilt for not treating her better, and breaking the heart of a girl in Point Pleasant or Avalon.

I know I was nine back in 2005, so it wasn't my fault that her innocence died

when he left her there, Point Pleasant or Avalon.

But some part of me thinks I was there on the Boardwalk, to whisper sweet nothings and then split down the beach like a vagabond, Point Pleasant or Avalon.

Cause either he hadn't uncovered the letters from Heather, or had and he left her heart there scribbled out on a mini golf scorecard, a carnival ticket, and the back of a crumpled receipt from a bar in Cape May, but it wasn't Cape May, I'm drawing a blank all these towns look the same. I should have remembered, where I found her confession, I feel so ashamed.

Cause I'd rather die in the fiberglass chest at the pirate-themed miniature golf course than ever live up to my name.

She'll never forgive me. And truly how could she?

I'll never be worthy, or part of her story,

My guilt for intruding for reading her letters, is only outdone by the guilt for not treating her better, and breaking the heart of a girl in Point Pleasant or Avalon.

© Calvin Rezen. All rights reserved.